


today

by oddandevander



Series: keep it up [1]
Category: jacksepticeye, septicegos - Fandom
Genre: Coma, Depression, Gen, I'm (kinda) sorry, chase is so upset, it's sad, why do we hurt this poor boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 17:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14623700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddandevander/pseuds/oddandevander
Summary: Jack isn't much for conversation right now, but Chase decides to talk to him anyway.





	today

"Hey Jack!" Chase greeted enthusiastically. There wasn't a reply, and he didn't expect one. "Wow, thanks. Glad to know you're so happy to see me," he joked anyway, because when one of your best friends is in a coma, what else can you really do? Jack was still in there somewhere and Chase really wanted to believe that he could still hear him. Maybe he would appreciate the jokes.  
  
Letting out a little sigh, he went to sit in his chair by Jack's bed. "I wonder if the staff here thinks I'm crazy," he mused, chuckling a bit. "Or maybe lots of people talk to their... coma-ed friends." He crinkled his face thoughtfully. "Comatic? No, I'm thinking of chromatic. Different things, Chase." He shook his head.  
  
"You know, you really were a better conversationalist before this, Jack. It's like you've changed," Chase said playfully, although the words hurt him still. "I hope you wake up soon. It gets lonely without you around. You're uh.. uh.." he trailed off, his train of thought flying completely off the rails, lost for a couple moments in where he had been going with this at all. "I hope you don't get tired of me," he brought up suddenly. "Not that - you  _would_  - or anything - heh - I just, uh, I know I visit a lot so, if you can hear me, I'm sure that gets..." He hesitated. Shrugged.  
  
"Well, never mind. I'm sure you don't care." He scanned his mind for things to say. Some part of him felt bad letting the conversation fall away like this, but another part felt like Jack wouldn't care.  _Couldn't_  care. He was in a fucking coma. Would silence really bother him that much? Chase doubted it.  
  
But Jack was his friend, and letting silence linger right now still felt wrong, so Chase said whatever he could to fill the silence. "Still get to see the kids on weekends. Their mom still hates me." He messed with his hat. "Oh well, right?" He stared at the wall, so familiar he could probably draw it from memory. "Hopefully my conversations don't bum you out too much," he went on apologetically. "I'm sure you have enough on your mind, as it is. Being in a coma and all. Or maybe you're just peaceful," he added, thoughtfully.  
  
Interesting thought. But it was Jack. Not a bit of peace inside him. He was probably a ball of energy right now. In spirit or whatever. "Nope. Definitely not peaceful. But hey! You could wake up any day now! It could be right now!" He paused for dramatic effect, staring at Jack like he might do something, unsurprised and still disappointed when he didn't. "Well, you tried your best. Always tomorrow. And every day after."  
  
Chase leaned back. "That nurse who always brings me here is cute," he brought up, aiming for more conversation, but feeling a little guilty knowing that he didn't _really_ think that. "I mean... well, she kinda has Stacy's haircut." He knew that was the only thing that made him look twice at her. His heart didn't have the energy for finding girls attractive anymore. Not in the same way. Not yet, at least.  
  
"I think I'm a great friend," he brought up. "How long have you been snoozing for, now? Like, four months and a week and a half? I've drawn exactly  _zero_  dicks on your face in that time, Jack. You know how much impulse control that takes? It's, like, a natural male instinct upon seeing a sleeping bro to think, 'Man I could dick his face to hell right now.'" That came out sounding different than he intended, but in a funny way, at least, that Chase could laugh at.  
  
The thought of him actually drawing a dick on Jack's face, and just leaving for the nurses to find and stare at in shock, made him laugh harder. So he laughed to himself for a few minutes before he stopped, sucking in a deep breath. "God I'm sad." He tried to feel bad about that, about being so depressing around his friend, to know that he could still feel something, but what was the point of being sorry? Was Jack even there? Was he even listening at all?  
  
A moment passed, and Chase felt sorry for doubting Jack. Of course he was there. How could he ever doubt that? He breathed in deeply, still shaky, but it was something. "I mean - I'm not sad  _all_  the time or anything," he said, trying to reassure Jack ~~, if he was listening~~. "A lot of times it's just numb, so really it isn't that terrible. I guess. I dunno." He frowned. "Sometimes that sucks, too. I still, you know, play with my kids when they're around, but it feels too fake. It's not like they don't make me happy or anything, but I just feel like such a... pretender."  
  
Did it make him a bad friend to be like this? He tried so desperately to be happy when he was around Jack, but it was so hard when he was so hopeless all the time. What if all his problems were just stressing Jack out? "Hey! I brought you something!" Chase brought up suddenly, reaching into his bag. He sang the Zelda music out loud as he fished for it, finally holding it up, like Link in the games. He liked to think Jack ~~would have~~ appreciated the reference. "It's Sam!" He held the plush green eye, moving Jack's arm a bit to nuzzle Sam there. "I think she misses you. I brought her here to keep you company."  
  
The absolute nothingness of Jack's state hit him like a brick. Like it tended to do almost every time he visited, and outside of that. He shut his eyes, momentarily dizzy, fighting away the feeling that Jack was gone, refusing to believe there was nothing left of him. He had to be there. God it hurt. Chase really needed to be drunk. "Well, I should go," he said suddenly, almost feeling guilty.  
  
He didn't really, though. Didn't have enough in him to feel that. What could Jack do about it anyway? He couldn't question him. He couldn't notice the abrupt, strained tone of Chase's voice and bring it up, like he would have.  ~~He couldn't do shit.~~  "You'll wake up soon, buddy," Chase said weakly, not sure who he was talking to anymore or who he was trying to convince. "You're so fucking tough, and you're gonna get through this, dude. I promise." He hesitated there, choking back a sob, standing there for a moment in thought before he wiped his eyes and left without looking back.


End file.
